Thursday, November 26, 2009

pinoy jokes 2 - November

PAHABAAN NG BUHAY
pinoy jokes, pinoy, tagalog jokes, tagalog,
Boy1: Lahi namin ang mahabang buhay, lolo ko namatay 88 years old na.
Boy2: Ako Lolo ko namatay 98 years old.
Boy3: Ala yan! Lolo ko sobrang tanda PINATAY na lang namin.
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DUDA

DENTIST: Hiwalay na tayo. Nagdududa na ang Mister mo.
BABAE: But I love you.
DENTIST: Sorry, sweetheart, ubos nang "alibi" mo. Isang NGIPIN na lang ang natitira sa iyo!
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NAGBAGO NA

Nagbalikbayan ang mister ni Mona:

MONA: Honey, ang mga sigarilyo ba'y para sa kamag-anak natin?
RAMON: OO. Hindi na ako naninigarilyo, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Itong mga alak, sa kamag-anak rin natin?
RAMON: Oo, hindi na ako umiinom, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Siguro itong make-up kits para sa akin.
RAMON: Hoy bruha, para sa akin 'yan. Di ba sabi ko, nagbago na akwo.
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LAST WISH

Katatapos lang basbasan ng pari ang isang presong nakaupo sa silya-electrika...

PARI: "Mayroon ka bang nais na hilingin bago ka bawian ng buhay?"
PINIRESO: "Opo."
PARI: "Ano yon, anak?"
PINIRESO: "Pwede po bang hawakan n'yo ang kamay ko hanggang bawian ako ng buhay?"
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mOrninG adVisory:
pinoy jokes, pinoy, tagalog jokes, tagalog,
aNg kape aY
pmpaUtot,
sMntlng aNg
gatas ay
pMplakas. kYa
huwaG uMinom
nG kapeng mY
gaTas dHL
ito'y pmPlakas nG
utot!..jaja
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titser: iha, talagang ganyan , pag maganda karaniwan bobo. pagmatalino madalas pangit, dapat matuto kang tanggapin yan.
iha: salamat po ma'am, ang tali-talino nyo talaga!
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genie: i'l grant u a wish.
bading: talaga? gusto kong gumanda.
genie: cge, buksan mo ang bote.
bading: at gaganda ako?
genie: hindi, babalik nalng ako. babooh!

pinoy jokes, pinoy, tagalog jokes, tagalog,
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Friday, November 13, 2009

Pinoy jokes 1 - November

Nakaupo sa tabi ng kanyang asawang agaw-buhay si Juan.
Hawak hawak niya ang kamay nito at nararamdaman ni Juan
na hindi na magtatagal at babawian na ng buhay ang kanyang asawa.
Juan, bago ako mamatay, mayroon akong gustong ipagtapat sa iyo."

"Mahal, huwag ka ng magsalita at makakasama pa sa iyo."
"Pero Juan, kailangan talagang malaman mo na........"
"Sssshhhh, kung ano man iyon ay hindi na mahalaga, ang importante ay nasa tabi mo ako sa huling sandali mo rito sa mundo."

"Juan, nais kong ipagtapat sa iyo na pinag-taksilan kita sana ay patawarin mo ako."
"Alam ko iyon, kaya nga kita NILASON."
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pinoy, pinoy jokes, tagalog jokes, tagalog,

LOLO:MAhal matatanda na tayo..pero dapat matalas pa rin ang memory natin.pwede ba kitang subukan
LOLA:Aba oo!sige tanungin mo ako?
LOLO:5 PLAS 5
LOLA:12 di ba?
LOLO:ay oo nga matalas pa rin memorya mo mahal.!magaling ka pa rin sa english hangang ngayon
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A Filipino man died and went to heaven. Before he could enter the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter had to ask him three questions.

The first one Saint Peter asked was, "How many days are there in a week?"
The Filipino man answered, "Three. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow."
The second question Peter asked was, "Can you use yellow, pink and green in one sentence?"
The man answered, "Of course... The phone greens, I pink it up and say Yellow!!"
The last question Peter asked the Filipino man what GOD's name was.

He replied, "Howard... as in 'our father howard be thy name...'"
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pinoy, pinoy jokes, tagalog jokes, tagalog,

In the Philippines, most kids in private schools are forced to speak English at all times. A kid who just came from the province and who barely speaks the language tried his best to do so.

One day, the kid needed to go to the bathroom so bad but he didn't know what to tell his teacher. He raised his hand and said, "guro, pwede po bang pumunta nang banyo?" (meaning, teacher may I go to the bathroom?')

Since the boy didn't speak English, the teacher pretended that she didn't hear him. The boy said to himself, "what should I say (in Filipino, of course)". Then suddenly, the boy raised his hand and said, "FATHER, MOTHER, I", and quickly rushed out the door and to the bathroom.

The teacher wondered what the boy meant. 15 minutes later, the boy came back. The teacher asked him where he went. He said that he went to the bathroom and he needed to go really bad. Then she asked what he meant when he said 'FATHER, MOTHER, I'.

The boy then explained, "FATHER in filipino meant TATA, MOTHER in filipino meant INA and I in filipino meant AKO".
pinoy, pinoy jokes, tagalog jokes, tagalog,
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