Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Pinoy jokes 5 - Feb

GF : hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa ito? hindi na ako virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!
BF : ano? isa lang ah?!
GF : bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!
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pinoy jokes, pinoy, tagalog jokes, tagalog joke,
Couple talking:

Wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
Husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
Wife : eh di pakigawa na lang hagdan natin.
Husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?

Umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.

Wife : kasi kanina, a man saw me crying. sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to help in exhange of either sex or bake ako ng cake.
Husband : so pinag-bake mo siya ng cake?
Wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!
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ANG MARRIED LIFE....

May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay inaabot ng 5 am.
Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:
'HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!'
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Sa harap ng nursery window:
Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, i'm sure magaling mag-drive.
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi. Kasi kamukha siya ng driver ninyo!
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Health Advisory: 'Beer contains female hormones, and can turn men into women.
After 5 pints....men become talkative, unreasonable, irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!'
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WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO NA!!!
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WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya 'GO TO HELL' kaya ito uwi agad ako.
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Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.
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Population policies of countries:
China: Stop at 1 child
Singapore : Stop at 2 children
Philippines: STOP AT 4 A.M.!
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RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA : we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA: you can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!
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Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?

American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!
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pinoy jokes, pinoy, tagalog jokes, tagalog joke,
'SUMPA'
Hindi na makakatikim ng napakasarap na 'sex' ang huling bumasa nito!
Ayos safe na ako...papayag ka bang IKAW ang huling babasa nito?

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